love God, love others

I really wish I could take credit for how awesome this kid is, but truthfully we have a group of people who have helped to shape and form him over the past several years.  

First of all, that bruise is not from home - just thought I would throw that out there.  All I can say is ... boys will be boys.  

After the massive explosion in West, TX, there have been multiple churches who have been collecting specific items for the people who are misplaced and have lost literally everything except the clothes on their backs.  

This cool kid wanted to donate a huge portion of his personal LEGO stash but he couldn't figure out the best way to do that.  We purchased little boxes for him to make kits and he painstakingly make sure there were at least two cool LEGO dudes in each box who were complete with fun accessories.  Each box contains sets of wheels to make cars and even fun things like house windows.

Without the people at our church, and even his teachers at his school, I'm not sure that he would be as cool as he is today.  It really does take a village to raise a good kid!

freckled zoo

Snuggled in next to me, you're fast asleep. Snoring. Inching ever closer, even in your sleep. We are blessed to have three beds, yet you just want to be close to me and sleep right by my side... In my bed.

You're ten now and you still surprise me almost daily. You are so stinkin funny and most days you even make yourself laugh! You make friends everywhere you go. You're  the first to run to help someone or hold the door open for a mommy with a stroller. You have a heart for God and you're a dry sponge when it comes to bible stories; you know those stories better than daddy and I do!

You constantly have bruises on your shins, your arms, and even on your hands - because you love to pretend to be a ninja, a soccer player, or even make your friends laugh with crazy physical comedy. You remind me of John Ritter or Steve Martin sometimes. Comical. Silly. And easy to love.

You don't care if you're dirty or if your hair is messed up, and you're happiest in either mono color outfits (white shirt and white shorts) or in the grey robe your grandma made for you. Comfy clothes rock!

The past couple years I have really screwed up, kiddo. I got all obsessed with technology and forgot to look you in the eyes every chance I got. I forgot to listen to you breathe when you sleep.  I forgot to let myself get lost in your sea of freckles, and laugh at your jokes. And I no longer seemed to have the time to use pastels and get messy with you like we used to do. Remember "Boo & Bop" art?  That was our signature!

Tonight I am overwhelmed with gratitude for the simplest things. The sound of your gentle giant snoring makes me giggle and melt all at once. I love your freckled cheeks, and even your bitten fingernails. I love the way you hold onto "mommy kitty" and I ADORE the fact that she is still your favorite.

I love that you and I are squished onto my side of the bed because your "zoo" is taking up daddy's side. I love that you didn't comb your hair after your bath and the fact that its sticking up and tickles my face makes me smile. I love that your daddy is your hero, your confidant, and your best bud. Watching you two together makes my love thermometer bust from a high fever.

Tonight I'm taking inventory of all of the things I have missed while my face was glued to my iPhone, and I regret that I have missed so much. But you have my word that I am going to work hard to break this addiction to technology so that I don't miss anything else!

I love you son.
I am so sorry for messing up my priorities.
Please be patient with me while I figure this out.
And thank you for loving me despite my many flaws.

alice the camel has more than one hump

When I was a kid I went to girl scout camp and we learned a song that says Alice the camel has 5 humps... then eventually she gets down to no humps and apparently she is actually a horse because we then get to sing "ride, Alice, ride!"

If we're going to talk about my progress with media fasting, Alice probably only has 1 hump.  I don't miss it folks.  I don't miss Facebook.  I don't miss Instagram.  I don't miss Pinterest but I still reference my previous "pins" for sewing projects.  I still crave my time-waster games but I don't really miss them.  This is good, yes?  Yes... except...

The other night I asked my husband if he noticed a difference in my presence at home - if I was just that, more present.  He said .... not... really.

Ouch.

I think I have gotten so used to being in my own world of social media that I was essentially doing my own thing while coexisting with my family.  Now that I took social media out, guess what?!?!  I'm still doing my own thing, it's just not related to my iPhone.  They play games, I go sew.  They watch a TV show together, I go play in the gardens.  They throw the football, I sit outside and read.

You mean to tell me this was just the first layer?
I'm afraid so.
I didn't solve all my problems by taking out social media?
I'm afraid not. 
So, Alice still has 5 humps?
Maybe 4 1/2.
Awesome. (said in my best sarcastic tone)

This morning I made my son's lunch and was up and around while my family was getting ready for their day (this is hard for me because getting out of bed is a brutal act when my body hurts).  This afternoon I hope to play a game with my son and then leave fun little notes around for my husband to find later.

One day at a time, one layer at a time.  Progress is good!

the shackles of facebook

About 4 or 5 months ago I really got a good grasp on what I am and am not capable of doing while living with fibromyalgia and a whacked immune system.  Today I received a phone call with an offer to do something absolutely amazing - and my literal thought process was like watching a ping pong match.  

Yes, no, yes, no..... and the ball goes long.... YES, no, yes, no, yes no.

I find myself wanting to post something on Facebook about how hard it can be to make decisions that could impact my health, my family, my finances, and most importantly --- what I feel God calling me to do.  I am dumbfounded that as a Christian, one of my go-to avenues for answers is Facebook.  What the heck?!?!?  What does that say about my level of faith?

As soon as I got off the phone I prayed and sat still.  I asked God to make His will for my life to be so obvious that the next step that I should take is more clear than a blue circle on the mat of a Twister game.  

My second go-to was scripture.  

My third ... my sweet husband.  

And then there's that ridiculous draw to Facebook.  

Dear Moose,

You do not need social media or 300+ people to muddy the waters of your decision making process.  Besides, this is between you, God, and your husband.  God will talk to you if you are still enough to listen.  

Love, 

Jen Hatmaker ---> ok not really, but I imagine it's what she would say to me.

You're right "Jen".  I cannot allow Facebook to have this much control of my life.  How on earth did I get here?  Has anyone seen my ruby slippers?  I wanna go home.

life minus facebook equals time squared

It's been 4 days with no Facebook, no Instagram, no Pinterest (except for when I need to pull a pattern off of my board for my business), and no games on my iPhone.  Some interesting things have happened in 4 days. 

1. I find myself STILL "checking" my iPhone.  I'm still not exactly sure what I think I will find when I "check" it, but alas I find myself pulling it out of my purse and sliding my thumb across that screen.
2. Facebook is sneaky.  I get notifications when things have been posted to our neighborhood pages, and I get a birthday notification of all the upcoming birthdays.  TWICE I have clicked on the links in the emails to reply to the post only to realize --- GASP, I'm not supposed to be here!  Also, I am actually going to send cards in the mail to the few people on that birthday list that I actually talk to and for whom I have physical addresses.  (Note: I did cheat when we posted a picture of our son's sandbox that we are giving away freely to whomever would like to come pick it up!)
3. It's amazing how many things I have accomplished in four days.  I really am quite astonished by this.  At some point, I will have to admit that my husband is right about my affair with my iPhone...he has always said that I could get more done if I would stop checking Facebook. However, I'm not quite ready to admit that he is right... I'm still in an outlandish justification mode.
4. I'm starting to think I do not have adult ADD, I have just always been incredibly consumed with the 10-15 apps I had running all at once on my phone. This is good news!
5. iPhone batteries last forever when you aren't playing games.
6. I desperately wanted to "check in" at the restaurant we visited after church today and then I realized for the first time ever just how ridiculous that truly is.  "Dear entire world, we are at a cool restaurant.  You may proceed with your lives now that you have this vital piece of information. You're welcome."
7. My son is hilarious.
8. My son knows a TON of the bible --- how did I not know this about him???
9. I can actually exercise more than I thought I could (I have a laundry list of medical issues).  Apparently my iPhone led me to believe I was a paraplegic.  Who knew it's not that serious?!?!
10. I have read more in four days than I have read in about 2 months (bible study classes and related workbooks aside).

My husband went cold-turkey and left Facebook high and dry.  Deleted his account.  Completely.  It's cool, I had heart palpitations FOR him.  He said what "did him in" was reading all these late January posts from people who had yet to take down their Christmas trees.  Some made jokes about it.  Some complained there just wasn't enough time.  I think some secretly wanted their 300+ Facebook friends to come take the trees down for them.  

Please read item #3 in my list above.  Ummm, I just moved one inch closer to admitting he is right.  

The last interesting and incredibly wonderful thing that has happened since I stopped being a slave to my "smart" phone and all the worlds of which it enticed me to enter, I started reading my bible more.

If you would like to believe this picture is of me, you go right ahead because I love how her stomach looks nice and trim. And she appears to be quite fashionable as well.    Picture borrowed from http://www.stgeorges-maplewood.org/

Dear Jen Hatmaker, 

I would like to thank you for reminding me that God gave me 24 hours in a day and 7 days in a week.  And this is plenty of time to accomplish the things He has set before me.  

Love,
A Candy Crush Detoxer

I don't think I will be adding any of the apps back in that I deleted ... especially Facebook.  I will keep my account and I will probably allow myself one day a week to poke around there, but it will not be something that I allow back in to steal my daily time.  My time is pretty darn precious and I am quite certain that's not how God wants me to use the time He has given to me.  

LIFE - facebook = TIME (squared)

don't save me a seat on the Axiom

It's 10:16pm and I have successfully survived the day without TV, movies, Facebook*, Instagram, Candy Crush, Tiny Castle, Pinterest, and many other things.  Why in the world am I fasting from media?  Because my friend Anne enjoys inflicting pain* on me and asked me to speak at our upcoming bible study session (we are reading the book 7 by Jen Hatmaker --- it's excellent!) on the chapter about excessive use of media.  
*Anne is in no way a pain inflicter... inflictor?... whatever. She loves me. I promise.


NOTE: There are no snazzy blog photos to go with this post because ... I was trying NOT to use my phone.  Update... my friend Shelley just texted this to me and I HAD to include it.

Perhaps I should back up.
Hi, I'm Ann.
(hi Ann)
I have been sober for 23 hours.  I am addicted to my iPhone. ... In no way is this a joke friends.  I truly am addicted.  It's sitting next to me right now.

Last night I read ahead to the chapter on fasting from media and I was so stinking convicted to take action right then, immediately. So I deleted numerous apps from my phone.  

I should also confess to show you that I am no saint, that when I deleted Tiny Castle it asked me if I was sure I wanted to delete all of my saved game play from the database ... and I hesitated. 

For a long time.

I was at level TWENTY ONE ya'll!  I could SEE the Queen's castle even though I hadn't unlocked it yet.  Did I mention I have a problem? For the record, I said yes --- delete all.  If I'm going to change, I need to get serious. And perhaps grow up a teeny tiny bit, but let's not get crazy mmmmkay?

Recent issues that reached up and smacked me while reading this chapter:

• When was the last time I didn't say "just a second William" when my son asked me a question?  
• When was the last time my husband and I just sat together to talk with our eyes MEETING each others?  
• When was the last time I had conquered a task from beginning to end without stopping every 10 minutes to "check my phone."  

Check it for what you ask?  That's a darn good question.  And I don't have the answer, so I asked Jeeves why "he"?  thought I was checking my phone. "He" showed me a link on CNN that said a recent study showed that adults ... grown-ups, that's most likely you (and me, most of the time) ... check their phones an average of 34 times a day.  Most times the "checking" lasts 10 seconds.  Dude, that's me.  Ok confess, it's totally you too.  

This morning I woke and completed my morning ritual... reach to my nightstand to "check my phone."  

Perhaps I am afraid it will sprout legs and walk away during my sweet slumber? Or maybe I fear I need to change it's diaper, or burp it, or upgrade an app so it's at the same level as the rest in its class. Dear friends, I'm not exactly sure what I am needing to "check". I first look for text messages (I do turn the sound off at night ... so there's that.), then I check email and delete all of the silly advertisement emails, then of course I harvest the food on Tiny Castle so that I can feed my newly hatched Minotaur. No I'm not kidding. Then I have to collect all the coins and plant new seeds so that I can harvest again in 2-3 hours.

In the meantime, I am missing out on conversation with my family at the breakfast table. Not to mention I have completely missed out on thanking the Lord for another day to attempt to do His will ... oh wait, I forgot to see if Courtney passed me on Candy Crush ... DANG IT ... she did. What was I saying? Oh yeah, God ... thank you God for this day, blah blah blah. Oh my family is leaving for the day, I will get up for this... I want to pray with them.

This morning when I reached for my phone I found that because of my recent app purge, there really wasn't anything to check... I put the phone down and got up.  

1. I made my son's lunch.  
2. I laughed with my husband about how crazy our puppy-cat is (the poor thing is confused, she really thinks she is a puppy - sorry sister, you are 100%... well wait, you're fixed... 99% cat!)
3. I actually sincerely prayed with my family.  

After they left, I checked my phone.  Oh RIGHT, there's nothing to check.  Ok well, let's get moving then.

I don't know how else to say this than to just say this...  

Today was amazing.  

I felt so ... alert and present in my own life.  I worked on my bible study and made it an entire page without feeling the urge to ... you got it ... check my phone.  My sister came over for coffee and I actually heard every word she said because ... there was nothing to check on my phone.  Isn't that RIDICULOUS?!?!  Then I packed my car for errand day, complete with a lunch so I could resist the urge to eat out.  I left the house EARLIER than I needed to (someone write this in sharpie ... Ann Skaehill had a premature departure from her home this 4th day of April 2013.)  

I ran an errand and knew exactly what I needed and was in and out in no time ... and then, it happened again.  I was early to an appointment!  TWICE in one day the word "early" escaped from my lips!  I spent some precious time with a newborn baby so his mama could take some time to care for herself.  And then by golly, I wasn't the last car in the carpool lane today.
I can't believe I don't miss it.  Any of it.  I don't miss Facebook.  I ENJOYED my day.  It feels like it was a good, full day.  I don't feel like time flew by and I missed it.  When I saw something funny I wasn't compelled to go all paparazzi and get a snapshot of it so I could post it somewhere.  I just enjoyed the humor and went on with my day.  I prayed for so many people today as I drove that I lost count of who all was on that list.  I'm thinking I was actually following God's prompting because I wasn't distracted.  Huh. Jen Hatmaker is on to something here.  

The thing I'm most excited about is that I feel pretty certain that I am not going to turn into a resident on the spaceship "Axiom" and become completely dependent on my electronic devices that I forget that I can even walk!  



So there's day 1.  I'm actually pretty excited to see what day 2 brings.  I'm going to leave my phone in the kitchen tonight... because, well, there's nothing to check before I go to bed.... AND because I'm looking forward to my prayer time!

*Disclaimer: This textversation happened tonight...
Me: I started my media fast today.  No Facebook, no Instagram, and no games on my phone.  Guess what? I was as productive as Superman!  Sans cape.
Carmen: Nice!!!  We should have interesting conversations tomorrow while walking...
Me: Aw dang it.  I just used Facebook without thinking!  But I was replying to a neighborhood food drive announcement.  Grace?
Carmen: Absolutely!  Without a doubt it can be used for good.
Now that I have confessed my Facebook sin, I can rest peacefully tonight.

the fabric of my .... closet

My dear sweet mother has (and her mother had) some sort of crazy addiction to fabric.  When I was little I absolutely hated going to fabric stores.  I would have rather vacuumed the entire house... twice...than go to the fabric store with them.  I hated the smell, I hated standing up that whole time, and I absolutely hated all of the dress patterns my Granny tried to tell me were "perfect" for a young lady such as me.  Um, no thanks (I still hardly EVER wear dresses).  I could never picture the fabrics in their hands, cut and stitched into the patterns at which they pointed while nodding their heads hoping to convince me.

I think Granny thought she could get me to sway toward her opinion by scrunching up one side of her mouth showing she was severely disappointed in my choices.  Mom would just sigh and shake her head (which she still does by the way - love you, mom!) and realize once again she needed to find a great pattern for sweat pants and shorts.  I think the challenge for her was trying to find patterns that somehow looked different from the previous sets of shorts and sweat pants she made for me.

I have two sisters.  I am the youngest... all of you oldest siblings who might be reading this can stop raising your eyebrows and making that "mmmhmmm" sound.  Yes, I was spoiled and given free reign.  Yes, I am the favorite.  (giggling - I'm totally not the favorite but I'm in the top 33%!)

The older two really got into sewing with Granny and with mom.  I just ... didn't.  Now that we are adults, the oldest is more into crafting than she is sewing so her closet is jam packed with all kinds of paper and groovy little embellishments and RIBBON ... oh my Lord the girl has ribbon.  When the middle sister and I are at mom's we can't help but "assist" mom in purging her fabric closets.  Yes, that's plural.  Closets.

I used to shake my head and think, "there is NO WAY I would let my closets fill up with that much stuff that I will never use!"  (notice I inherited the shaking of the head from my mother)

Never use the word never, because it always comes back to bite you.

When I started sewing this summer I bought a few bins and silently created a secret handshake with myself that I wouldn't buy any fabric that didn't fit in those bins.  Then I bought more bins and changed my organization methods because clearly I did it wrong the first time since it wouldn't all fit.  (if I went to counseling I'm sure I would be enlightened with some fancy word that describes my evasion techniques here)

When those bins filled up....  well, now I have 9.  BUT ... 5 of them are filled with all the supplies I need for clients.  "Sam's" quilt stuff is in bin 1.  "Luke's" in bin 2. "Max's" in bin 3, and so on.  One is for fabric scraps because I want to be like my friend Stacey and create granny squares with my scraps ... someday.  I also have lots of cute baby fabrics for the blankets and burp cloths I will create to sell... well, when I don't have 12 quilts lined up for clients.  One is just projects I need to complete by Christmas.

And today I .... well... I ordered more fabric.

(hanging my head in shame)

 I KNOW! (sighing and shaking my head)  I know.  It's crazy and ridiculous but I have projects in my head that I want to do with each of the bundles I purchased.  Just like my mother.  It's the creative curse.  Too many ideas, not nearly enough time!

If I pass away prematurely, I would like to apologize to my middle sister because she will open my closet door after I'm gone and say, "SERIOUSLY?!?!?!" --- and for the record, her disappointed/irritated stare is much more threatening than Granny's half-grimace ever was!

kumbayah ... or not

I should know better. After 15 years of being in love with a man who also happens to be a police officer I should know better than to read people's comments online when an officer loses it and makes awful choices.

I know we can't all get along, history proves that. But why is it so difficult to see that when ONE person makes a poor choice it is NOT a reflection of the entire group with which said person is affiliated?

It.
Lights.
My.
Fuse.

(in the following paragraphs - I don't mean YOU per se....)

I guarantee there aren't cameras at your job or a mic pinned to your lapel to catch every mumble under your breath or every hand gesture you make behind your coworkers backs. You don't have to go to court for just about every decision you make while at work.

Police officers swear to uphold the law and because of the way our world has become lawsuit crazy, yes they wear mics and are on video more often than not while working. And yes, sometimes they make a poor choice... Just like everyone else in the world.

Yup. People make mistakes. People sin. This is nothing new. But please... Please don't group my ethical, genuine, strong, amazing leader of a husband into this automatic "guilty by association" cloud when a police officer misses the mark. Please.

I apparently have not learned my lesson and just spent 20 minutes reading comments from people who have only heard probably 1/5 of the story of an event that occurred. So here I sit all upset and frustrated with people who make generalizations.

And then I turn my pointed index finger to myself and wonder how often I make those same ridiculous generalizations at other groups of people.

Lord God, open my eyes and my heart and help me to be a better example of sorting out the sin of a person from the group of people he/she may be part of. Restore my faith in humanity by working good deeds through me and streaming a solid mindset through me. Let me see your people the way you see your people. My human glasses are fogged up. I need your awesome optometry cloth to wipe it all away.

lead blanket sunday

This morning was crappy. Really crappy. My fatigue was so heavy that it felt like one of those lead blankets from an X-ray room was covering my entire body and face when I woke up. It was hard to breathe. It felt impossible that my own body strength could overpower the pain generator's hum of poisoned electricity that ran through every living cell of my body. In my head I was a cheerleader with a big white-toothed smile plastered across my face. My hair was super cute complete with a hideously huge bow pinned securely to the top of my perfect pony tail. I was saying "you got this, Ann!! Ready?!? oh-kay! 1, 2, 3, GET UP!"

But nothing would happen. Not even a toe twitch.

Over and over again I would let the cheerleader take over in my head, complete with the loud, cupped clap. But she failed miserably to get my body out of bed. Like trying to rouse the parent section of the football stands to get them to their feet. She just couldn't beat that lead blanket this morning. Kinda like how Jerry always outwitted Tom.

The thing that finally got me up, an hour and a half late, was knowing that the only way I could smell coffee and get my fibromyalgia medication in me is if I physically put one foot on the floor and took one step. And then another. And that's the only way I would make it to see my 4th grade girls at church.

I threw off that hellish lead blanket much like a kitten could pull a car with her teeth. Did I mention my morning was crappy? I did finally get into motion only to find that my pain level was extraordinarily frustrating. It hurt to scoop the coffee. It hurt to walk across the tile floor. It hurt to reach for my coffee cup and to flip open the "Sunday morning" compartment on my weekly box that holds my approximate 119 weekly pills. (no, that's not approximate or an exaggeration - I just counted). It even hurt to hug my kiddo.

I finally made it through the shower and my muscles went through their twitchy tantrums and slowly started to move more fluidly. I was late for church. But you know what chaps my hide about being late? There were seventeen 4th grade girls waiting for me to walk through that door. SEVENTEEN!!! Every. Single. One. Of them... Was so happy to see me. And it filled my cup with so much joy. They each even knew me by name!

My little friend S.M. (sorry, no names) gave me a HUGE hug and did that cute thing that kids do where they wait to see where you're going to sit so they can almost sit right on top of you. After we were sitting I felt her nudge a little closer and she whispered "you're so soft!"

On my other side was another sweet little friend E.L. She told me all about the postcard she got in the mail from me last week as though I had no idea what it looked like or what it said. It was the most animated description of mail I've ever seen/heard in my life! And I hung on every word.

In that moment, with these girls in front of me and on either side of me, all my issues from the morning faded away. Melted like butter in a hot pan.

God loves to show up in big ways. He loves to remind you that you are never too broken to serve His people. And I imagine He loves those simple and genuine whispered prayers, where all you can mutter is "thank you for this moment, God."

After my time with the 4th graders, I was off to sit in service next to my amazingly patient and loving husband. The worship songs were so alive with praise for our Lord and creator that I couldn't help but praise Him through the pain of my aching fingers and twitching thighs. I couldn't help but smile and sing as loud as I could while bouncing on my locked-up tippy toes. Every beat of the drum and hand in the air was like a squirt of lighter fluid in the fire of my soul.

After church I left a voicemail for our worship pastor. I felt like I absolutely should not wait to tell him what the worship team did for me today. I don't even know if he checks messages on Sunday afternoon but *I* needed to tell him right away, even through my high pitched, squeaky, crying voice. In worship today, that team of talented servants of the Lord reminded me that His Word calls us to praise Him. No matter what. And at all times.

So I have done just that the rest of the day today. I have praised Him through the pain. And He has helped me make it a good day.

Without Him, I never would have even made it to the coffee pot this morning. I don't know why I had to get fibromyalgia, but I know that God will use it to open my eyes and heart to many things I have been oblivious to for years... Like how powerful worship songs are, and how amazing it feels to be called "soft."

Finished.

I finally finished the curtains in my office. Obviously photography is not one of my hobbies.

my plans stink!

¹³ Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” ¹⁴ How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. ¹⁵ What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.” ¹⁶ Otherwise you are boasting about your own plans, and all such boasting is evil.¹⁷ Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.  James 4:13-17

 So I've been listening to the bible in my car for the past several weeks.  It's so interesting what things I hear that I either skipped over when reading it myself or just have no recollection of reading it.  The highlighted line above about knocked me over this morning in the car.  I kept going back and listening to it over and over again.

How many times have you communicated a great plan that you've come up with, thinking that no one could ever possibly shoot holes in it and then they say the dreaded phrase, "what you ought to do is...."

WHAT?!?!?!  (insert seeds of doubt)

But here it is in the bible.  The scripture.  Inspired by God Himself.  I've been venturing into this crafting business and so far it's going fairly well.  There is a lot of talk going on but several clients have pulled out when they find out how much it costs to make a quilt.  I admit, it's not chump change but it's a LOT of work.  I think I end up making about $6 per hour which I realize isn't much.  But if I charged $15/hr I would have to make quilts for Apple executives or someone of the like!  It got me to thinking, "is this the right thing for me? Am I spinning my wheels here?"

But here's the dill, pickle.  When I create things with my hands it doesn't feel like work.  It feels like I am blessing someone with something crafty that they can't make for themselves.  It feels like I am using the gifts and skills that God gave me.

⁹ What do people really get for all their hard work? ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. ¹¹ Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. ¹² So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. ¹³ And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.  Ecclesiastes 3:9-13

So perhaps it isn't supposed to be about the money.  Perhaps it isn't supposed to be about how much I make per quilt.  Perhaps it is all about what the Lord wants me to do in this season.  Could that season change?  Why yes actually - there is scripture for that too!  I specifically like these two verses also from Ecclesiastes Chapter 3.

1 For everything there is a season,    a time for every activity under heaven.

6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.    A time to keep and a time to throw away.

So for today, I will be happy and enjoy myself since I cannot possibly see the entire scope of God's plan for me in this life.  And if the fruit of my labor is joy, then I will enjoy that gift!

the crafty moose

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https://www.facebook.com/TheCraftyMoose

made for more

Last week I had a major revelation...  It all started with interactions with 7 different ladies all week long and it was like with each interaction God was asking me to peel off the labels that I had affixed to myself.  Here are some examples:

you aren't smart enough to do that

you're becoming more selfish as you learn more about fibro

you aren't as loved as you used to be

that church doesn't want you on staff because you have medical problems

ministry was never for you

Those are just some of the labels.  And like I said, I affixed those labels to myself.  No one ever verbalized those things.  I know I am a creative person and I would like to think I didn't make it all up - but sadly, I believe I did.  Mostly by comparing myself to others, I just decided these things about myself.

So back to the label peeling process.

After all the labels were off I was texting with a very good friend of mine.  We will call her Dee.  I told her I felt odd, and kind of raw.  I could NOT figure out what God was trying to tell me.  With her help I not only saw but felt the revelation that God was trying to show me.

I was created for more.  

My skills are specific to me.

Other people's skills are specific to them.

I won't ever do ministry like Jane, John, or Mrs. Smith do ministry.

I will minister from where I am, no matter where that physical location may be.

People connect to me because of who I am, not because of who I want to be like.

I listen to the bible via my iPhone when I drive.  I hook up my phone to a dealio that connects to the speakers in my car and I press the play button on whatever book of the bible seems to be calling me.  Today after a glorious coffee date with two ladies that blow me away constantly with their love and faith - I chose the book of John.  I randomly picked a chapter.

15 “I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch of mine that doesn’t produce fruit, and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more. ³ You have already been pruned and purified by the message I have given you. ⁴ Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.   John 15:1-4

Wow.  He closed doors (aka cut off branches) not because He doesn't love me, but because He needed me to focus on what He created me to do.  Those branches may have produced fruit, but kids I was t-i-r-e-d when trying so hard to produce fruit on that limb.  Slowly He redirected me (branches are being pruned).  And little by little I am seeing where He needs me to be.  I can't see the whole picture but I am glad for that.

A good friend told me this week that God was planting some words on her heart.  She said, "God needs me to share with you that He used your fibromyalgia and your other medical problems to slow you the heck down!  You are such a do-do-do person that He needed to close some doors so that you could listen, reflect, and set your feet on the right path."

So here's a revelation for you to work through - what doors is God shutting because they aren't the way He needs to use you?  It's the wrong path, and you know it deep down but you're too scared to either speak up or jump ship.  And what is He pruning?  Who or what has recently changed around you and leaves you scratching your head?

The bible says to go to Him with every worry, every fear, every joy, and every ounce of gratitude that you have.  Start there.  After all, He is the beginning and the end.

slap... not a good idea

We went school supply shopping yesterday and I let my boy pick out ONE fun item but it had to still be useful. He picked out a ruler.... that is also a slap bracelet. I thought it was cool, until it spent three meals with us at the table. I'm thinking it might have to stay home or I'm going to get notes from his teacher.

{chewy}

Meet Chewy.  She will become part of our family on August 13th.  It's been 7 LONG years of waiting for a kitten, and he is finally getting his wish.  He is donating part of his allowance to go toward kitty food and kitty litter.  He is SO ready to bring her home!